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[Fic] House General : rambling with a cane
EXTREME House ramblings. Actually, first time I've written anything in a while... and I have no idea where I was going with it, so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. *shrug*
Summary: House's thoughts about Wilson and the Ducklings during the current season. No real current spoilers except for Season Three's conclusions/references.
Pairing(s): House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, Cameron/Foreman, All of them in a huge five-some of House weirdness xD
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Foreman talked to God and there was no answer. So he looks at House and isn't afraid of him, No, he's afraid of everything else. So much so that when push comes to shove he'll do anything to protect a family and keep it together because he can never save his own.
He needs this new team because he doesn't feel like he's married or attached or stupid or examinable beneath their looks. To them he's only insane and a paycheck, and God damned if this isn't what he tried so hard to tell his minions, that if they had left him alone as insane and a paycheck they could have stayed forever.
-----
"You aren't curious?"
"No, because I'm well-adjusted."
And Wilson gets this warm, damn twinkle in his warm twinkling eyes that leaves House's only available body function to stare after him until he can clear his head.
He tries to trap Wilson into his world, because then he wouldn't have to worry about anything. About Wilson being taken away.
He hates hurting Wilson, because God put those wide, how could you possibly say that to me brown eyes with that whiplash, HOUSE! mouth that can be really scary and satisfying at the same time. He hates how Wilson rolls his eyes and says with absolute certainty House says he didn't mean that.
Wilson who's his, his petulant, guilty toy he thought was a pawn, but became a butt-kicking, annoying queen when House wasn't looking. And now he's obsessed with him, forever and ever, til death in Wilsonland do they part.
He fired Chase because Chase was growing to know too much, like Wilson. Because when Chase yelled at him there was a certainty in his eyes that scared House more than the pain of losing both his legs ever had. Because House prides himself in being an insolvable anomaly, and if Chase can look at him like that, like there's nothing scary about House at all, House doesn't feel safe one bit.
How could he know what to expect from Chase? The boy jumped off the hospital roof for a teenager he didn't even now, how could House gage what he would do for someone he did?
Then there's Cuddy and he hates her too because he doesn't know where she fits. She's annoying and controllable and God he can't be in her presence for very long without wanting to hurt her or fuck her. He holds her in his hands and it's like water escaping him, too fast to understand anything of it until its gone again on a dazzling smile of her sea green eyes.
House hates them all because they fell in love with him and wouldn't go away. He OD'ed, he lied, he snarled and shoved.
They shoved back and even now that they're gone they won't fucking leave him alone.
He hates it, because he's so close to finally giving in to Wilson, and even that's different, because Wilson just quietly stands at the door between them, no matter how many sticks of dynamite House sets off to collapse it. And when the dust settles Wilson just stands there like the understanding idiot he is and those soft, sad, House, how could you do this eyes House cannot stand because he's not sure whether to slam Wilson in the face or slam Wilson in the wall and...
It's bad enough to deal with Wilson, and it's so much more complicated with his minions because, dammit, there's three of them.
Foreman who needs to be the voice of reason, because if he can't be good at that then he has nothing, and he has to admit that there's a God who won't talk to him because he's a failure and doesn't belong.
Chase is dangerous because everyone underestimates him. Because he's so pretty and wide-eyed no one notices how close he is to your heart soul mind id until you turn around and see your heart is in his hands to caress or squeeze until it explodes. The same thing with your brain; he slips inside your head and he's so damned sneaky, he doesn't steal a whole box of crap, he takes a post-it note of a memory here or a used highlighter of a habit there, and again you don't notice anything until you're left with nothing and he's looking at you because he does see right through you. House had been letting his guard down around Chase for years, and one day Chase was screaming at him with every needle knife sword House thought was safe, and House was scared because this was Chase--stupid blond hopeful faithful unassuming-- and even when Chase came into the office there was that damned, patient swagger: Chase is a cobra with love, he knows all he has to do is wait to get it.
He didn't tell Chase about his father, because Chase's hate and love made him interesting. It also made hiim realize how threatening Chase could be: to only be able to love despite his bottling down otherwise. At the same time Chase is a little afraid of him, and it makes a sick feeling twist in House's stomach because he knows why: Chase is slowly but determinedly sliding him into that role his father slinked away from, and House can't do anything to stop it no matter how childish he acts. Chase hates the word 'no' like Cameron and Foreman, an when House yanks back Chase only smirks because he got a reaction and House gave him something to dissect from and add to his psychotic little statue.
It's that eternal patience, optimism, and indifference that cost him his father, but Chase knows he's winning with Cameron, House, and Foreman. When House fired him he was even more angry with Chase: because Chase knew House wanted a reaction, for Chase to stand up and say childishly 'No' in that accent of his and stomp off to the lab. And again because Chase knew he said 'fine' instead and packed his things and left to patiently wait and House wants to smash something with his cane because he sees them all everywhere now and wants to drown himself in Cutthroat Bitch and Useless Guy because they are nothing like his (family) minions. His new team is the Three Stooge's compared to his minions, and Thirteen is a Cameron with wider, innocent eyes he wants to mock and protect...because he knows how broken Cameron is.
Cameron who's compassionate, but compassionately selfish. She gets a high off of helping people--in a way similar to Wilson but Wilson is Wilson--she breathes off feeling needed so she doesn't have to feel useless. She claims to trust everyone, love everyone, and that's half-true. Really she's the only person House has met that falls in love with everyone at the same time she's suspicious of them. She's in love with Foreman, she's in love with Chase. And she knows it's because they're both just as suspicious and trusting of her as she is--not even Cameron really trusts herself. Cameron is young and sloppy with her curiosity and selfish. She likes to look at people like exotic fish in an aquarium, like she's the owner the place and doing what's best for them by keeping them locked up in specific categories of her heart...and too bad if they don't want to be there.
Cameron who's just as selfish, if not more so, than House is, because she reaches for love and then flings it at the wall the ferocity of a spoilt child when it doesn't coast along with her perfect, ordered timeline in her perfect, ordered world.
Foreman is always quietly hurting and is more angry than House himself. Angry at the world, angry at his father, angry at his mother. Angry at all of them too, at Cameron for dropping his hand as soon as one of them moves forward, as soon as he's ready to move forward. Angry at Chase for his optimism in House and believing in God and love and just continues to look at them all with that laid back I love you so deal with it haziness of his eyes of someone who wins in the end. Foreman hates reaching for people. He reached for his mother and she forgot who he was. He reached for his father and his father slapped him away and told him to talk to God.
Foreman talked to God and there was no answer. So he looks at House and isn't afraid of him: he's too busy being afraid of everything else. So much so that when push comes to shove he'll do anything to protect a family and keep it together because he can never save his own.
House needs this new team because he doesn't feel like he's married or attached or stupid or examinable beneath their looks. To them he's only insane and a paycheck, and God damned if this isn't what he tried so hard to tell his minions, that if they had left him alone as insane and a paycheck they could have stayed forever.
Because they broke the rules now they're all a little insane and much, much more than a paycheck to him. It's not like with Wilson who can tell him "she's my cousin" and though it's a lie have House drop everything to help her because it's Wilson, but it's still so very dangerous and filled with the feeling he can't find the breaks for.
Like when House refused to admit he missed the dog and Wilson did that creepy death watch over him for the next week, like House was going to OD on vicadin more than usual because "House, you're sulking." How the hell does Wilson know he sulks anyway? He's pretty sure he sulks all the time...
Wilson who protests all the time that he's boring and House should just bugger off and find someone who's more interesting when he's trying to shut the door, but House can't let that door close when Wilson's the one shutting it. Because Wilson is Wilson, and if Wilson gives up then it really is over. And House can't stand that because Wilson is interesting. He's a fascinating, frustrating, unbelievable anomaly House can't solve, like a defunct Rubrix cube.
Foreman who knew how to hurt him too, who saved his resignation for when House was least expecting it, and now...
"What are you thinking about?" Thirteen asks.
Now he has this, and this much easier than being with his minions has ever been. It's easy, even if easiness has always bored him.
"No, because I'm well-adjusted."
And Wilson gets this warm, damn twinkle in his warm twinkling eyes that leaves House's only available body function to stare after him until he can clear his head.
He tries to trap Wilson into his world, because then he wouldn't have to worry about anything. About Wilson being taken away.
He hates hurting Wilson, because God put those wide, how could you possibly say that to me brown eyes with that whiplash, HOUSE! mouth that can be really scary and satisfying at the same time. He hates how Wilson rolls his eyes and says with absolute certainty House says he didn't mean that.
Wilson who's his, his petulant, guilty toy he thought was a pawn, but became a butt-kicking, annoying queen when House wasn't looking. And now he's obsessed with him, forever and ever, til death in Wilsonland do they part.
He fired Chase because Chase was growing to know too much, like Wilson. Because when Chase yelled at him there was a certainty in his eyes that scared House more than the pain of losing both his legs ever had. Because House prides himself in being an insolvable anomaly, and if Chase can look at him like that, like there's nothing scary about House at all, House doesn't feel safe one bit.
How could he know what to expect from Chase? The boy jumped off the hospital roof for a teenager he didn't even now, how could House gage what he would do for someone he did?
Then there's Cuddy and he hates her too because he doesn't know where she fits. She's annoying and controllable and God he can't be in her presence for very long without wanting to hurt her or fuck her. He holds her in his hands and it's like water escaping him, too fast to understand anything of it until its gone again on a dazzling smile of her sea green eyes.
House hates them all because they fell in love with him and wouldn't go away. He OD'ed, he lied, he snarled and shoved.
They shoved back and even now that they're gone they won't fucking leave him alone.
He hates it, because he's so close to finally giving in to Wilson, and even that's different, because Wilson just quietly stands at the door between them, no matter how many sticks of dynamite House sets off to collapse it. And when the dust settles Wilson just stands there like the understanding idiot he is and those soft, sad, House, how could you do this eyes House cannot stand because he's not sure whether to slam Wilson in the face or slam Wilson in the wall and...
It's bad enough to deal with Wilson, and it's so much more complicated with his minions because, dammit, there's three of them.
Foreman who needs to be the voice of reason, because if he can't be good at that then he has nothing, and he has to admit that there's a God who won't talk to him because he's a failure and doesn't belong.
Chase is dangerous because everyone underestimates him. Because he's so pretty and wide-eyed no one notices how close he is to your heart soul mind id until you turn around and see your heart is in his hands to caress or squeeze until it explodes. The same thing with your brain; he slips inside your head and he's so damned sneaky, he doesn't steal a whole box of crap, he takes a post-it note of a memory here or a used highlighter of a habit there, and again you don't notice anything until you're left with nothing and he's looking at you because he does see right through you. House had been letting his guard down around Chase for years, and one day Chase was screaming at him with every needle knife sword House thought was safe, and House was scared because this was Chase--stupid blond hopeful faithful unassuming-- and even when Chase came into the office there was that damned, patient swagger: Chase is a cobra with love, he knows all he has to do is wait to get it.
He didn't tell Chase about his father, because Chase's hate and love made him interesting. It also made hiim realize how threatening Chase could be: to only be able to love despite his bottling down otherwise. At the same time Chase is a little afraid of him, and it makes a sick feeling twist in House's stomach because he knows why: Chase is slowly but determinedly sliding him into that role his father slinked away from, and House can't do anything to stop it no matter how childish he acts. Chase hates the word 'no' like Cameron and Foreman, an when House yanks back Chase only smirks because he got a reaction and House gave him something to dissect from and add to his psychotic little statue.
It's that eternal patience, optimism, and indifference that cost him his father, but Chase knows he's winning with Cameron, House, and Foreman. When House fired him he was even more angry with Chase: because Chase knew House wanted a reaction, for Chase to stand up and say childishly 'No' in that accent of his and stomp off to the lab. And again because Chase knew he said 'fine' instead and packed his things and left to patiently wait and House wants to smash something with his cane because he sees them all everywhere now and wants to drown himself in Cutthroat Bitch and Useless Guy because they are nothing like his (family) minions. His new team is the Three Stooge's compared to his minions, and Thirteen is a Cameron with wider, innocent eyes he wants to mock and protect...because he knows how broken Cameron is.
Cameron who's compassionate, but compassionately selfish. She gets a high off of helping people--in a way similar to Wilson but Wilson is Wilson--she breathes off feeling needed so she doesn't have to feel useless. She claims to trust everyone, love everyone, and that's half-true. Really she's the only person House has met that falls in love with everyone at the same time she's suspicious of them. She's in love with Foreman, she's in love with Chase. And she knows it's because they're both just as suspicious and trusting of her as she is--not even Cameron really trusts herself. Cameron is young and sloppy with her curiosity and selfish. She likes to look at people like exotic fish in an aquarium, like she's the owner the place and doing what's best for them by keeping them locked up in specific categories of her heart...and too bad if they don't want to be there.
Cameron who's just as selfish, if not more so, than House is, because she reaches for love and then flings it at the wall the ferocity of a spoilt child when it doesn't coast along with her perfect, ordered timeline in her perfect, ordered world.
Foreman is always quietly hurting and is more angry than House himself. Angry at the world, angry at his father, angry at his mother. Angry at all of them too, at Cameron for dropping his hand as soon as one of them moves forward, as soon as he's ready to move forward. Angry at Chase for his optimism in House and believing in God and love and just continues to look at them all with that laid back I love you so deal with it haziness of his eyes of someone who wins in the end. Foreman hates reaching for people. He reached for his mother and she forgot who he was. He reached for his father and his father slapped him away and told him to talk to God.
Foreman talked to God and there was no answer. So he looks at House and isn't afraid of him: he's too busy being afraid of everything else. So much so that when push comes to shove he'll do anything to protect a family and keep it together because he can never save his own.
House needs this new team because he doesn't feel like he's married or attached or stupid or examinable beneath their looks. To them he's only insane and a paycheck, and God damned if this isn't what he tried so hard to tell his minions, that if they had left him alone as insane and a paycheck they could have stayed forever.
Because they broke the rules now they're all a little insane and much, much more than a paycheck to him. It's not like with Wilson who can tell him "she's my cousin" and though it's a lie have House drop everything to help her because it's Wilson, but it's still so very dangerous and filled with the feeling he can't find the breaks for.
Like when House refused to admit he missed the dog and Wilson did that creepy death watch over him for the next week, like House was going to OD on vicadin more than usual because "House, you're sulking." How the hell does Wilson know he sulks anyway? He's pretty sure he sulks all the time...
Wilson who protests all the time that he's boring and House should just bugger off and find someone who's more interesting when he's trying to shut the door, but House can't let that door close when Wilson's the one shutting it. Because Wilson is Wilson, and if Wilson gives up then it really is over. And House can't stand that because Wilson is interesting. He's a fascinating, frustrating, unbelievable anomaly House can't solve, like a defunct Rubrix cube.
Foreman who knew how to hurt him too, who saved his resignation for when House was least expecting it, and now...
"What are you thinking about?" Thirteen asks.
Now he has this, and this much easier than being with his minions has ever been. It's easy, even if easiness has always bored him.
"The biking marathon coming up."
From Chas---HIS ETHNIC space, Kutner blinks and looks up slowly. "But...you can't..."
"According to Christina Aguilara, 'words can't bring me down,'" House says childishly. He leans back. "You know what's wrong yet?" He asks Foreman Num--Divorce Guy.
"We've had this file for five minutes," Cutthroat bitch whines.
"Big Love, take some white trash and go to the house."
Mormon raises a refined eyebrow. "And why..."
He looks at Foreman without looking at Foreman and says, "It's always good to have a white chick with you when you break into a house."
Foreman smirks and shit, they just had an inside joke, and House hates (loves) them all a few thousand times more.
<3
You have beautifully captured the complicity that is House.
I was brimming with anticipation when I spotted the subject, as to what I would find and I must say it is fabulous work.
That was right on key with the show and you made me remember some of my favorite episodes. :D
Great job and thanks for sharing!
♥ calambmity
Re: <3
Thank you so much--it was my first House fic ever and I was like "why does it feel so different writing for anime/manga versus TV?! It feels like more pressure!"
*BLUSH* YOU...THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS! Though this definitely makes zero sense as I skip all over the place.
Most of this current season has left me both extremely happy or the complete... opposite. I don't know. :(
Re: <3
I think it's because these are actual people acting out the script (writers strike please come to an end! ;0;)
You're very welcome. :D What? I disagree it was a thoughtful madness much like House himself. You cannot truly tell what he is thinking until the end of the episode, it leaves you hanging. :)
Same here, it's a roller-coaster ride. Once the writers come back (with their proper compensation) I hope they dish out some good stuff, I miss talking about the things House has done over lunch. Reruns can only hold the fort for so long.
Re: <3
Yes, I don't see why they don't just GIVE INTO the writers since, you know, they already PWN them over with logic: they can't fire them, because the new writers would SUCK, and then no one would watch it, and it'd get cancelled.
COME ON PEOPLE, GOD WANTS TO WATCH HOUSE TOO! (omg, God/House from that one episode, canon xD)
Re: <3
*0*
Your icon! I have been looking for that all over the place after I saw a large clip on someone's site. Jack/Will is major OTP. I was squeeing over the movie.
That's true isn't it? The writers do PWN the companies, they make the world a better place.
XDDD YESH! GOD WANTS HOUSE NOW GIVE IT TO HIM OR HE'LL FLOOD YA! (House/God is SO canon xD the writers should put him in)
Re: <3
I don't know who made it, I found it on photobucket. D; I'll just ask the jack/will comm...
YAY, NOW I KNOW I'M NOT CRAZY. I'm a Will/Eliza hardcore after that kick ass wedding cermony and everything after that, but...I REALLY DON'T THINK JACK IS EVEN SUBTEXT WITH WILL. HE'S AN INSANE PIRATE WITH A CRUSH. :D