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[Fic] Naruto: Sasuke/Naruto: Who's Uke Is It Anyway?
Title: Who's Uke is it Anyway?
Summary: Naruto wants to know what Sasuke thinks of certain sexual dynamic. Sasuke just wants to eat his god-damned PopTart. Crack fic.
AN: Seriously this is because I'm so sick of the fandom I'm leaning towards Naruto and Sakura just to keep my sanity. And heronite doesn't make it easier. ;D
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He thought he was safe when he could finally cross females out; since Naruto was stubborn the only woman he could ever go for was his Sakura-chan, but noooo now the dumb ass had to get off his lazy butt and really think about what their bonking meant?
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Naruto had wandered in at some point and was standing beside him, watching and waking up slowly while Sasuke was suffering an incredible dilemma. Every ninja needs a good breakfast but Sasuke was feeling particularly cranky and angsty-prodigy against the world this morning and didn't want to bother. Hence there were two boxes, and as usual, Sasuke was THIS CLOSE to angsting how worthless, how POWERless he was between two enemies.
“Hey Sasuke?”
It's because you lack hatred. Dammit! “What?” Sasuke said irritably, though more at his inability to choose blueberry and strawberry Poptarts than anything else.
Naruto was silent for another moment, and then "Are we gay?”
Crack! The top half of the blueberry poptart Sasuke chose crumbled in his sudden fist and the rest snapped into several halves on the floor. “My Poptart…” he said, looking at it and thinking I could eat that if I really wanted and there’s no one to see me do it. Uchihas did not eat Poptarts off the counter unless they were alone (or with Naruto, but he didn’t really have a choice being as Naruto ate everything like a mutant goat). He spun his head to give Naruto a disbelieving look. “What the hell is that kind of question at six fifteen?!”
“I dunno!” Naruto said, flinging his arms in the air. “I keep hearing all this ‘seme’ and ‘uke’ stuff and it’s kind of confusing. As far as I know I just have all these, ya know, MINE! feelings only for you, but…”
Sasuke eyed him. If Naruto started looking at other men to top Sasuke would cut off his penis. Or chidori it. He thought he was safe when he could finally cross females out; since Naruto was stubborn the only woman he could ever go for was his Sakura-chan and she gave them her blessing before taking over the world (even Sasuke had to admit how frightening she was these days), but noooo now the dumb ass had to get off his lazy butt and really think about what their bonking meant?
Narutos and thinking never went well together, but thank god they pretty much mated for life.
“What do you think of this seme and uke stuff?” Naruto wanted to know.
“Other than it has no place in real life.” And it didn’t help him picking out his pop tart the slightest. Stupid useless fangirl Japanese-wannabes.
“Um…yeah. Heh, usually we just do it…” Naruto’s eyes got misty and he gave a soft smile to the taller boy. Teaching Sasuke kage bunshin was probably the best idea he'd ever had--believe it! "Hey. Sasuke..."
“Have you brushed your teeth yet, moron?”
“Dammit.”
“Hn,” Sasuke mused it over. Well, as much as he could deciding to try for strawberry. “I guess I like it when you’re on top sometimes.” In Sasuke-speak, that was DO IT MORE OFTEN.
“Ooh, really?” Naruto grinned to the ceiling cockily...ha, Naruto laughed more in his head. “Hah, yeah, I’m definitely awesome.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Haha, you like to be topped. It's because you suck--haha, get it?"
"Shut up."
“But Sasuke, I think I'm gonna hafta argue with you because while you’re on me you do this thing to my seal—“
“Usuratonkachi-da. As wonderful waste of oxygen this conversation with you is, I’m trying to pick a god damned Pop Tart before I leave.”
Naruto looked at the two pre-packaged clomps for a beat. “But you hate sweets.”
Sasuke blinked. Oh yeah…
“God. You’re such a space case. I think I'd die if you were my team leader, much less named it, you lamo. How the hell did you seduce someting as fine as me?”
"You said I got fat."
"Look, your clothes were incredibly misleading and believe me I'm not complaining now..."
"Hn. You're the one who got fat. When I first saw you after two years--"
"Why you...!"
Before he could be strangled, Sasuke shoved the strawberry Poptart into Naruto's mouth and began to push him out the apartment door.
"Like a right future Hokage's housewife you are!" Naruto crowed at him once he was out of immediate swiping distance, "And a sucky one too--this shit is cold!"
Sasuke shook his fist at him and then at the same time Naruto turned, he himself went back inside to get himself ready. To save the world or whatever he and Suigetsu did on the outskirts of Water Country when Juugo was safely away from small children. And living/explodable-gutty things in general.
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Just one of those days I have them acting a little childish, I definitely don't think SasukexNaruto has fluffy bunnies of a relationship, but I don't think it's so violent either. That's not what I got from their Time Skip personalities. If anything, I see them as older and bit more tired of everything.
I'm starting to feel queasy about the manga ending. *crosses fingers*
Summary: Naruto wants to know what Sasuke thinks of certain sexual dynamic. Sasuke just wants to eat his god-damned PopTart. Crack fic.
AN: Seriously this is because I'm so sick of the fandom I'm leaning towards Naruto and Sakura just to keep my sanity. And heronite doesn't make it easier. ;D
----------
He thought he was safe when he could finally cross females out; since Naruto was stubborn the only woman he could ever go for was his Sakura-chan, but noooo now the dumb ass had to get off his lazy butt and really think about what their bonking meant?
----------
Naruto had wandered in at some point and was standing beside him, watching and waking up slowly while Sasuke was suffering an incredible dilemma. Every ninja needs a good breakfast but Sasuke was feeling particularly cranky and angsty-prodigy against the world this morning and didn't want to bother. Hence there were two boxes, and as usual, Sasuke was THIS CLOSE to angsting how worthless, how POWERless he was between two enemies.
“Hey Sasuke?”
It's because you lack hatred. Dammit! “What?” Sasuke said irritably, though more at his inability to choose blueberry and strawberry Poptarts than anything else.
Naruto was silent for another moment, and then "Are we gay?”
Crack! The top half of the blueberry poptart Sasuke chose crumbled in his sudden fist and the rest snapped into several halves on the floor. “My Poptart…” he said, looking at it and thinking I could eat that if I really wanted and there’s no one to see me do it. Uchihas did not eat Poptarts off the counter unless they were alone (or with Naruto, but he didn’t really have a choice being as Naruto ate everything like a mutant goat). He spun his head to give Naruto a disbelieving look. “What the hell is that kind of question at six fifteen?!”
“I dunno!” Naruto said, flinging his arms in the air. “I keep hearing all this ‘seme’ and ‘uke’ stuff and it’s kind of confusing. As far as I know I just have all these, ya know, MINE! feelings only for you, but…”
Sasuke eyed him. If Naruto started looking at other men to top Sasuke would cut off his penis. Or chidori it. He thought he was safe when he could finally cross females out; since Naruto was stubborn the only woman he could ever go for was his Sakura-chan and she gave them her blessing before taking over the world (even Sasuke had to admit how frightening she was these days), but noooo now the dumb ass had to get off his lazy butt and really think about what their bonking meant?
Narutos and thinking never went well together, but thank god they pretty much mated for life.
“What do you think of this seme and uke stuff?” Naruto wanted to know.
“Other than it has no place in real life.” And it didn’t help him picking out his pop tart the slightest. Stupid useless fangirl Japanese-wannabes.
“Um…yeah. Heh, usually we just do it…” Naruto’s eyes got misty and he gave a soft smile to the taller boy. Teaching Sasuke kage bunshin was probably the best idea he'd ever had--believe it! "Hey. Sasuke..."
“Have you brushed your teeth yet, moron?”
“Dammit.”
“Hn,” Sasuke mused it over. Well, as much as he could deciding to try for strawberry. “I guess I like it when you’re on top sometimes.” In Sasuke-speak, that was DO IT MORE OFTEN.
“Ooh, really?” Naruto grinned to the ceiling cockily...ha, Naruto laughed more in his head. “Hah, yeah, I’m definitely awesome.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Haha, you like to be topped. It's because you suck--haha, get it?"
"Shut up."
“But Sasuke, I think I'm gonna hafta argue with you because while you’re on me you do this thing to my seal—“
“Usuratonkachi-da. As wonderful waste of oxygen this conversation with you is, I’m trying to pick a god damned Pop Tart before I leave.”
Naruto looked at the two pre-packaged clomps for a beat. “But you hate sweets.”
Sasuke blinked. Oh yeah…
“God. You’re such a space case. I think I'd die if you were my team leader, much less named it, you lamo. How the hell did you seduce someting as fine as me?”
"You said I got fat."
"Look, your clothes were incredibly misleading and believe me I'm not complaining now..."
"Hn. You're the one who got fat. When I first saw you after two years--"
"Why you...!"
Before he could be strangled, Sasuke shoved the strawberry Poptart into Naruto's mouth and began to push him out the apartment door.
"Like a right future Hokage's housewife you are!" Naruto crowed at him once he was out of immediate swiping distance, "And a sucky one too--this shit is cold!"
Sasuke shook his fist at him and then at the same time Naruto turned, he himself went back inside to get himself ready. To save the world or whatever he and Suigetsu did on the outskirts of Water Country when Juugo was safely away from small children. And living/explodable-gutty things in general.
-------
Just one of those days I have them acting a little childish, I definitely don't think SasukexNaruto has fluffy bunnies of a relationship, but I don't think it's so violent either. That's not what I got from their Time Skip personalities. If anything, I see them as older and bit more tired of everything.
I'm starting to feel queasy about the manga ending. *crosses fingers*
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and oh yeah, thanks for commenting!
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