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[Fic] YGO: OTP: Office Space
Title: Office Space
Fandom: Yugioh
Pairing: YamiixYuugi
Summary: Atemu tries to ask Yuugi out, but with the whole frigging office opposed to his personal happiness he may never get the chance. Unless the kills them all. And with assistants like Otogi and Mai, he reaallly might actually resort to that.
Chapter One
NEW CHAPTER DOS
A/N: I should let you know I'm cheating: this fic was completely inspired by THIS PIC at deviantart: inami.deviantart/art/Val-Pic-YYxY-Look-in-front-28987881 (insert the http and com), so go and give the lovely artist a comment will you? In case you want spoilers for where I'm going with this...
Plus...I read Meg Cabot like nobody's business. And Dave Barry. And Janet Eivanovich. And Descartes. Be warned for much quoting and style-aftering...ness. (Yes, Descartes fits in here. Somewhere.)
A/N 2: Yes, Yamioh. King of Darkness. Get it? Guess not...
================================================================================
To: allemps list (server(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
From: Human Resources (h. reources(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
Subject: Team Building
Priority: high priority
Notice: FILE ATTACHED
---
GOOD MORNING!
WE HOPE TO HAVE A LOVELY PRODUCTIVE DAY FOR TEAMWORK AT KAIBA CORP AC! AS EVERYONE KNOWS, EVERY EMPLOYEE IS NECESSARY TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT, SO LET’S CELEBRATE OUR UNITY!! FOR AN ITERNARY OF THIS MORNING’S EXCITING EVENTS, PLEASE SEE PAGE TWO OF YOUR TEAMBUILDING BOOKLET! WE HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!
Human Relations Project Coordinator
Mazaki Anzu
Approved by Human Relations Director
Wong Vivian
(And for those interested in the unbiased reasoning behind this development, please see page three of attached file.)
****CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT****
This E-MAIL message and any accompanying documents contain confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose. The information contained within is private and protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us by return e-mail or by telephone KaibaCorp AC immediately so that we can prevent a reoccurrence. Thank you in advance for your strict compliance and assistance.
---------------------------
(page 3 ITINERARY OF EVENTS.DOC)
KAIBA CORPORATION, ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND COMMUNICATIONS, EMPLOYEE INCIDENT AND MISDEMEANOR REPORT
Name/Title of Reporter
Kajiki “Tsunami” Ryouta, Security Officer
Date/Time of Incident
2 January. Monday, 2:30 P.M.
Place of Incident
Kaiba Corporation and Communications Staff Dining Room
Persons Involved in Incident/Title/Age:
1) Dorobou Bakura, Human Resources representative to KC A&C, 29
2) Reido “Lady” Kaede, Shikon Food Services dessert cart operator, KC A&C, age information declined (officer
was slapped with a ladel for rude commenting...suspected in report is henceforth "none of your
business"--late seventies)
Nature of Incident
D. Bakura asked L. Kaede for more pie.
R. Kaede said No more pie.
D. Bakura said Old hag I see pie right there, give me some.
R. Kaede said I know what you did to poor Ryou-chan.
D. Bakura declares that L. Kaede is mental and has him confused with someone else. He doesn't even know who
the (expletive) (expletive) that person is.
R. Kaede said No more pie for you. Shoo. Or I give you The Eye.
D. Bakura said What the (expletive) (expletive) (extreme expletive). Why not?
R. Kaede said You know good and why.
D. Bakura “summoned” security (damaged phone when did not connect immediately for incorrect access code).
Security gave him pie.
R. Kaede said she will “put the Eye on him.”
D. Bakura gave a policy breaking gesture.
Additional security involved to restrain Dorobou when Reido offered Kajiki the remaining pie to take home.
Follow-up:
Incident recorded, sent to head director Wong Vivian in Human Resources.
Employees subject to team review
D. Bakura fined for damaged for cracking company phone.
================================================================================
To: allemps list (server(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
From: Human Resources (h. reources(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
Subject: Team Building
Priority: high priority
Notice: FILE ATTACHED
---
HELLO AGAIN! THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER OF THE ROOM ASSIGNMENTS KAIBA
CORP AC EMPLOYEES ARE TO REPORT TO!
Attendance is mandatory. Go. Or else.
SEE YOU ALL AT 11 A.M. SHARP :) THOSE ON LIST A PLEASE HEAD TO CONFERENCE
ROOM 224A, THOSE ON LIST B TO 439D, AND THOSE ON LIST C...
Human Relations Project Coordinator
Mazaki Anzu
Approved by Human Relations Director
Wong Vivian
****CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT****
This E-MAIL message and any accompanying documents contain confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose. The information contained within is private and protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us by return e-mail or by telephone KaibaCorp AC immediately so that we can prevent a reoccurrence. Thank you in advance for your strict compliance and assistance.
================================================================================
GAMEBOY HAS RECEIVED AN UNKNOWN MSN MESSAGE.
DO YOU WISH TO ACCEPT?
Yes No
ACCEPTED.
(Initiating discussion mode)
---
Yamioh: Let’s ditch. Now.
GameBoy: Yamioh-shi? Not in the middle of trust games!
Yamioh: Like no one else is sneaking out for a bathroom break to Mars or hitting the online casinos
while Pegasus blathers away. I hate trust games. What the hell are they supposed to establish?
Gameboy: Um. I think that would be trust. Amongst your coworkers.
Gameboy: especially after that episode with Bakura and sweet old Lady Kaede
Yamioh: Please. I wouldn’t trust Dorobou to warn me not to cross the street in the path of an
oncoming bus. Do you really think I’m going to trust him to catch me as I fall backwards?
Yamioh: …did you just call that old hag sweet?
Gameboy: Yes. Because she is. And that’s not the one we’re doing today. And besides, we’re
supposed to be learning them so that we can go around to the different divisions of the firm and
have them do it. You know. Trust. Among the staff.
Yamioh: Can you imagine doing the lap sit with Bobassa? He would crush you.
Gameboy: As a representative of the Kaiba Corporation of Attorneys and Communications division,
Yamioh-shi, you are not supposed to show bias against weight-challenged individuals.
Yamioh: Bobassa needs to lay off the Krispy Kremes. And is it just me or did Mazaki's message
sound indecently threatenin--Wait, what did he just say we’re supposed to be doing?
Gameboy: Uhoh. We’re supposed to be dividing up into groups and building shelters for ourselves.
Yamioh: Using what? The old copies of Economist no ones reads?
Gamboy: Yes. And that the Journal. But we aren’t allowed to use tapes or scissors.
Yamioh: Mother $!#$!#
Gameboy: Yamioh-shi!
Yamioh: This is the stupidest—
Gameboy: Uhoh, Vivian-san's having Honda-kun divide us into groups now.
Yamioh: I’d better be in your group, or—
Yamioh: logged off
Gameboy: logged off
================================================================================
(Twenty-one minutes later)
================================================================================
KAIBA CORPORATION, ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND COMMUNICATIONS, EMPLOYEE INCIDENT AND MISDEMEANOR REPORT
Name/Title of Reporter
Bob Lars the Janitor (status of higher ranking – unconscious)
Date/Time of Incident
12 January, Tuesday, 11:32 A.M.
Place of Incident
Kaiba Corporation and Communications Conference Room 224A
Persons Involved in Incident/Title/Age:
1) Dorobou Bakura, Human Resources representative to KC A&C, 29
2) Yamioh Atemu, Attorney at Law, Software Division, 25
Surrounding Circumstance:
M. Anzu claims that H. Hiroto misread the grouping sheet and D. Bakura and Y. Atemu were not, under any
circumstances, to be in the same group. H. Hiroto mistook B. Ryou for D. Bakura.
Nature of Incident:
Team building exercise group 2 of 4 was using “Survival Scene” (ex: "Your plane crashed...your group needs
to choose the 12 most useful items to survive...")
During debriefing D. Bakura said it was “dumb” to keep the "stupid onna," since she had "nothing going for
her other than (expletive)”
Y. Atemu said that statement was completely uncalled for, D. Bakura “obviously forgot” the woman’s
usefulness in medicine, and D. Bakura was ignorant.
D. Bakura said At least I don’t look like a woman.
Y. Atemu said Hn. You’re right, even with your long hair you don’t. You look like a dumb ass.
D. Bakura swung at Y. Atemu.
Y. Atemu dodged.
D. Bakura made contact with the metal pole and let out policy-breaking words.
D. Bakura attempted to beat Y. Atemu with a chair.
D. Bakura was restrained by security. Notified lawyer.
Disclosed D. Bakura ran out of aggression medication.
Follow-up:
KC A&C health care plan filed for a refill.
W. Vivian approved M. Anzu’s policy that D. Bakrua and Y. Atemu be placed on different sides of the
building, on different floors, during team building strategies.
Y. Atemu is not pressing charges.
================================================================================
HotHarpy: So today you assaulted an employee, would have gotten your pretty face clobbered to
death by a chair, all over a silly team exercise that could have ended painlessly had you just left that
psycho Bakura alone. Anything else you'd like to add?
Yamioh: I sat next to Yuugi.
HotHarpy: ...
Yamioh: And Yuugi shielded me from the chair. He's very brave. And warm.
HotHarpy: He would do that for anyone you know.
HotHarpy: And do you have any idea how creepy that sounds?
HotHarpy: ?
HotHarpy: Quit sulking, it's not very mature. You knew this wouldn't be easy--Yuugi is incapable of
thinking anyone could like him. Hey, when you were pretending to be dead/be unconscious he got
all freaked out didn't he?
HotHarpy: ...
HotHarpy: Are you drowning yourself like when you took Yuugi to dinner and he thought that was
as friends? At Biaggi's? By the water, at night, with candles and...now I feel like hitting Jounouchi
for some weird reason...
HotHarpy: Atemu! I was kidding! Don't be unnecessarily angsting somewhere! You aren't good at
it, you always to something stupid.
HotHarpy: Ugh, you're such a Drama King, if your family hadn't left you and Kaiba this company I'd
tell you right where to shove it...
================================================================================
A/N: Anzu would be the most kick ass Human Relations rep ever. I would love her to death but dread her team-building things. And she's good at being frightening, she wouldn't take crap from anybody. And yet she'd do what no Human Relations people in the work fields I've been in do and, I dunno, listen and care about your problems? She'd be such a sweetie.
A/N 2: Will Atemu ever get laid? Yeah, I don't think so either. Next time I'm going to, oh I don't be actually literary and write in story format...
A/N 3 (I swear to God I'm done): the "-shi" is a note most give to co-workers or respected in the business world, or so my aunt told me... Since Yuugi is always formal in speech, I slipped it into this AU.
Fandom: Yugioh
Pairing: YamiixYuugi
Summary: Atemu tries to ask Yuugi out, but with the whole frigging office opposed to his personal happiness he may never get the chance. Unless the kills them all. And with assistants like Otogi and Mai, he reaallly might actually resort to that.
Chapter One
NEW CHAPTER DOS
A/N: I should let you know I'm cheating: this fic was completely inspired by THIS PIC at deviantart: inami.deviantart/art/Val-Pic-YYxY-Look-in-front-28987881 (insert the http and com), so go and give the lovely artist a comment will you? In case you want spoilers for where I'm going with this...
Plus...I read Meg Cabot like nobody's business. And Dave Barry. And Janet Eivanovich. And Descartes. Be warned for much quoting and style-aftering...ness. (Yes, Descartes fits in here. Somewhere.)
A/N 2: Yes, Yamioh. King of Darkness. Get it? Guess not...
================================================================================
To: allemps list (server(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
From: Human Resources (h. reources(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
Subject: Team Building
Priority: high priority
Notice: FILE ATTACHED
---
GOOD MORNING!
WE HOPE TO HAVE A LOVELY PRODUCTIVE DAY FOR TEAMWORK AT KAIBA CORP AC! AS EVERYONE KNOWS, EVERY EMPLOYEE IS NECESSARY TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT, SO LET’S CELEBRATE OUR UNITY!! FOR AN ITERNARY OF THIS MORNING’S EXCITING EVENTS, PLEASE SEE PAGE TWO OF YOUR TEAMBUILDING BOOKLET! WE HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!
Human Relations Project Coordinator
Mazaki Anzu
Approved by Human Relations Director
Wong Vivian
(And for those interested in the unbiased reasoning behind this development, please see page three of attached file.)
****CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT****
This E-MAIL message and any accompanying documents contain confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose. The information contained within is private and protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us by return e-mail or by telephone KaibaCorp AC immediately so that we can prevent a reoccurrence. Thank you in advance for your strict compliance and assistance.
---------------------------
(page 3 ITINERARY OF EVENTS.DOC)
KAIBA CORPORATION, ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND COMMUNICATIONS, EMPLOYEE INCIDENT AND MISDEMEANOR REPORT
Name/Title of Reporter
Kajiki “Tsunami” Ryouta, Security Officer
Date/Time of Incident
2 January. Monday, 2:30 P.M.
Place of Incident
Kaiba Corporation and Communications Staff Dining Room
Persons Involved in Incident/Title/Age:
1) Dorobou Bakura, Human Resources representative to KC A&C, 29
2) Reido “Lady” Kaede, Shikon Food Services dessert cart operator, KC A&C, age information declined (officer
was slapped with a ladel for rude commenting...suspected in report is henceforth "none of your
business"--late seventies)
Nature of Incident
D. Bakura asked L. Kaede for more pie.
R. Kaede said No more pie.
D. Bakura said Old hag I see pie right there, give me some.
R. Kaede said I know what you did to poor Ryou-chan.
D. Bakura declares that L. Kaede is mental and has him confused with someone else. He doesn't even know who
the (expletive) (expletive) that person is.
R. Kaede said No more pie for you. Shoo. Or I give you The Eye.
D. Bakura said What the (expletive) (expletive) (extreme expletive). Why not?
R. Kaede said You know good and why.
D. Bakura “summoned” security (damaged phone when did not connect immediately for incorrect access code).
Security gave him pie.
R. Kaede said she will “put the Eye on him.”
D. Bakura gave a policy breaking gesture.
Additional security involved to restrain Dorobou when Reido offered Kajiki the remaining pie to take home.
Follow-up:
Incident recorded, sent to head director Wong Vivian in Human Resources.
Employees subject to team review
D. Bakura fined for damaged for cracking company phone.
================================================================================
To: allemps list (server(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
From: Human Resources (h. reources(a)KaibaCorpACdotcom)
Subject: Team Building
Priority: high priority
Notice: FILE ATTACHED
---
HELLO AGAIN! THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER OF THE ROOM ASSIGNMENTS KAIBA
CORP AC EMPLOYEES ARE TO REPORT TO!
Attendance is mandatory. Go. Or else.
SEE YOU ALL AT 11 A.M. SHARP :) THOSE ON LIST A PLEASE HEAD TO CONFERENCE
ROOM 224A, THOSE ON LIST B TO 439D, AND THOSE ON LIST C...
Human Relations Project Coordinator
Mazaki Anzu
Approved by Human Relations Director
Wong Vivian
****CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT****
This E-MAIL message and any accompanying documents contain confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose. The information contained within is private and protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us by return e-mail or by telephone KaibaCorp AC immediately so that we can prevent a reoccurrence. Thank you in advance for your strict compliance and assistance.
================================================================================
GAMEBOY HAS RECEIVED AN UNKNOWN MSN MESSAGE.
DO YOU WISH TO ACCEPT?
Yes No
ACCEPTED.
(Initiating discussion mode)
---
Yamioh: Let’s ditch. Now.
GameBoy: Yamioh-shi? Not in the middle of trust games!
Yamioh: Like no one else is sneaking out for a bathroom break to Mars or hitting the online casinos
while Pegasus blathers away. I hate trust games. What the hell are they supposed to establish?
Gameboy: Um. I think that would be trust. Amongst your coworkers.
Gameboy: especially after that episode with Bakura and sweet old Lady Kaede
Yamioh: Please. I wouldn’t trust Dorobou to warn me not to cross the street in the path of an
oncoming bus. Do you really think I’m going to trust him to catch me as I fall backwards?
Yamioh: …did you just call that old hag sweet?
Gameboy: Yes. Because she is. And that’s not the one we’re doing today. And besides, we’re
supposed to be learning them so that we can go around to the different divisions of the firm and
have them do it. You know. Trust. Among the staff.
Yamioh: Can you imagine doing the lap sit with Bobassa? He would crush you.
Gameboy: As a representative of the Kaiba Corporation of Attorneys and Communications division,
Yamioh-shi, you are not supposed to show bias against weight-challenged individuals.
Yamioh: Bobassa needs to lay off the Krispy Kremes. And is it just me or did Mazaki's message
sound indecently threatenin--Wait, what did he just say we’re supposed to be doing?
Gameboy: Uhoh. We’re supposed to be dividing up into groups and building shelters for ourselves.
Yamioh: Using what? The old copies of Economist no ones reads?
Gamboy: Yes. And that the Journal. But we aren’t allowed to use tapes or scissors.
Yamioh: Mother $!#$!#
Gameboy: Yamioh-shi!
Yamioh: This is the stupidest—
Gameboy: Uhoh, Vivian-san's having Honda-kun divide us into groups now.
Yamioh: I’d better be in your group, or—
Yamioh: logged off
Gameboy: logged off
================================================================================
(Twenty-one minutes later)
================================================================================
KAIBA CORPORATION, ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND COMMUNICATIONS, EMPLOYEE INCIDENT AND MISDEMEANOR REPORT
Name/Title of Reporter
Bob Lars the Janitor (status of higher ranking – unconscious)
Date/Time of Incident
12 January, Tuesday, 11:32 A.M.
Place of Incident
Kaiba Corporation and Communications Conference Room 224A
Persons Involved in Incident/Title/Age:
1) Dorobou Bakura, Human Resources representative to KC A&C, 29
2) Yamioh Atemu, Attorney at Law, Software Division, 25
Surrounding Circumstance:
M. Anzu claims that H. Hiroto misread the grouping sheet and D. Bakura and Y. Atemu were not, under any
circumstances, to be in the same group. H. Hiroto mistook B. Ryou for D. Bakura.
Nature of Incident:
Team building exercise group 2 of 4 was using “Survival Scene” (ex: "Your plane crashed...your group needs
to choose the 12 most useful items to survive...")
During debriefing D. Bakura said it was “dumb” to keep the "stupid onna," since she had "nothing going for
her other than (expletive)”
Y. Atemu said that statement was completely uncalled for, D. Bakura “obviously forgot” the woman’s
usefulness in medicine, and D. Bakura was ignorant.
D. Bakura said At least I don’t look like a woman.
Y. Atemu said Hn. You’re right, even with your long hair you don’t. You look like a dumb ass.
D. Bakura swung at Y. Atemu.
Y. Atemu dodged.
D. Bakura made contact with the metal pole and let out policy-breaking words.
D. Bakura attempted to beat Y. Atemu with a chair.
D. Bakura was restrained by security. Notified lawyer.
Disclosed D. Bakura ran out of aggression medication.
Follow-up:
KC A&C health care plan filed for a refill.
W. Vivian approved M. Anzu’s policy that D. Bakrua and Y. Atemu be placed on different sides of the
building, on different floors, during team building strategies.
Y. Atemu is not pressing charges.
================================================================================
HotHarpy: So today you assaulted an employee, would have gotten your pretty face clobbered to
death by a chair, all over a silly team exercise that could have ended painlessly had you just left that
psycho Bakura alone. Anything else you'd like to add?
Yamioh: I sat next to Yuugi.
HotHarpy: ...
Yamioh: And Yuugi shielded me from the chair. He's very brave. And warm.
HotHarpy: He would do that for anyone you know.
HotHarpy: And do you have any idea how creepy that sounds?
HotHarpy: ?
HotHarpy: Quit sulking, it's not very mature. You knew this wouldn't be easy--Yuugi is incapable of
thinking anyone could like him. Hey, when you were pretending to be dead/be unconscious he got
all freaked out didn't he?
HotHarpy: ...
HotHarpy: Are you drowning yourself like when you took Yuugi to dinner and he thought that was
as friends? At Biaggi's? By the water, at night, with candles and...now I feel like hitting Jounouchi
for some weird reason...
HotHarpy: Atemu! I was kidding! Don't be unnecessarily angsting somewhere! You aren't good at
it, you always to something stupid.
HotHarpy: Ugh, you're such a Drama King, if your family hadn't left you and Kaiba this company I'd
tell you right where to shove it...
================================================================================
A/N: Anzu would be the most kick ass Human Relations rep ever. I would love her to death but dread her team-building things. And she's good at being frightening, she wouldn't take crap from anybody. And yet she'd do what no Human Relations people in the work fields I've been in do and, I dunno, listen and care about your problems? She'd be such a sweetie.
A/N 2: Will Atemu ever get laid? Yeah, I don't think so either. Next time I'm going to, oh I don't be actually literary and write in story format...
A/N 3 (I swear to God I'm done): the "-shi" is a note most give to co-workers or respected in the business world, or so my aunt told me... Since Yuugi is always formal in speech, I slipped it into this AU.