Another evil plot bunny. what the heck am I going to do? I still have the blind date one-shot to finish, the 'let's screw up yuugi's wibble head' one-shot, the office space growing in my head, and the other fics on ff.net that suck but i NEED to finish for myself...and now this one. 

I've been watching too much of the Sopranos. 

A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left

Rating: T/R 
Warning: Violence (Yaoi is a "duh you stupid g00b")
Summary: According to the homicidal maniac following him everywhere, Yuugi just inherited the most feared cartel in Japan from his unrealized, loaded grandfather. There’s just one little problem: he doesn’t want it. At all. And the homicidal maniac (aka Atemu), does not like that. At all. Oh gods Yuugi—RUN! YY/Y

 

There’s Bac Yuugi, and that might not be his real name. Who used to be a really nice kid…but events with his girlfriend Anzu (who may or may not love him) when they were eighteen made him into a bitter cynic… who might or might not be in a one-sided relationship with Kaiba Seto (because Yuugi has no idea about it as Kaiba is his boss, and Kaiba prefers not to tell him). And Yuugi may or may not be a weapons Cartel leader inherited by his unknown, forbidden grandfather. Or a malpractice lawyer. Whichever one his ‘omgIrefusetodie’ mother harps on him longer about. And if the former, he definitely has to do it without his (kinda) girlfriend finding out about it. And keeping that weird Yami away from her, because Yuugi is ninety-eight percent certain he kills people. And that is ‘Not Okay.’ It is also Not Okay that Anzu has a crush on him and Yuugi is all ‘this is MY girlfriend, dammit...why won't he leave me alone?' (You thick boy, you) And his OTHER Nazi boss at part time job at Japan-Disney as Prince Ali is giving him zero time off. So much for open hearts in family environments.

 

There’s also Matsumoto Yami. And that might not be his real name either. And he might or might not know Yuugi for years before Yuugi was aware of him, because he might or might not have been a trained assassin to protect him when Yuugi was in high school for Mutou Sugoroku.  He might or might not have been trained in his terrorist village in the Middle East since he was five. And he might or might not be determined to keep Yuugi near him as long as possible now that he’s found him again, to bring back the Yuugi he used to protect (though Yuugi WILL be the cartel leader, dammit). He definitely does enjoy teasing him…and doesn’t like Yuugi’s (“kinda”…he likes that word) girlfriend. At all. For reasons that are obvious to us and might or might not make Yuugi lock himself in his room with a gun trained at the door if he figured it out. And Kaiba...Kaiba just needs to die and stay the hell away from his Yuugi. Because Yuugi is NOT going to be a lawyer.

 

And then there’s Dorobou Bakura. Who might or might not have killed Sugoroku and framed him for the dead bodies of women wrapped in saran wrap in the preschool dumpster, that look suspiciously like Yuugi’s mother. Who might or might not be the one using Yuugi’s car as target practice with antique rifles or firebombs. Or who might just be not involved with any of that, who MIGHT just be an almost innocent bystander and is ONLY stalking Bakura Ryou.  Not for money, not for blackmail, but because he finds it absolutely hilarious scaring the poor guy. Because he IS for certain one hundred percent insane.

 

There also Pegasus, Willy Wonka with WMDs instead of Oompa Loompas, who wants to keep his little ‘Yuugi doll,’ and Honda is using all of his training not to be completely creeped out when Pegasus likes him too. Oh the things he does to protect his boss. Otogi might not just be the husband of Shizuka, but also the clown that is as famous for his wiener dogs and dice games as he is for his bombs. Jounouchi might or might not be jealous of the men Mai is dating…but she kills them afterwards so that might be okay. Malik might be trying to launch a war against the Mutou cartel—well, mainly Atemu for his affiliation—with some also very blood-thirsty Latvians, and that just might accidentally escalate into a really messed up season of 24 and World War III… (Which Yuugi makes clear to Atemu is Not Okay…and no Atemu can’t shoot people to solve his problems…no, not even once). And Malik is NOT be confused with MARIK, who is good, and has no idea why he keeps getting arrested while minding his own business while minding that business in Egypt for Atemu…that business of which is really an undercover for an international cyber hacking enterprise. And Mako and Weevil are having their own private Fourth of July celebration that Japanese way—by using bodies. Dead bodies. But that’s all in the background and no one really wants to hear about that…

And through all of this, is Yuugi's cat EVER going to get fed??? She's absolutely traumatized by the purple bottom of her dish poking through...