llivla: woman dressed as catwoman, in black and white (hear me)
llivla ([personal profile] llivla) wrote2007-12-02 12:38 pm

[fanmix/fst] karin: eat your heart up

She's bitchy. She's a pervert. She thinks it's fun to watch fights. In an AU she'd probably be a the backstabber on 24.  She's "the typical OOC Sakura or Ino and THEN placed on E." Napkindoodler has a theory she might be evil. Whatever the heck, she's so funny I don't care what she does. That's right: a fanmix for Karin, the only other girl besides TenTen that doesn't have a last name.  Lol. :D What? It's true...

This is Volume One of Three.



VOLUME ONE: KARIN
VOLUME TWO: KARIN AND SAKURA
VOLUME THREE: SAKURA




My arm curls around your waist and uhoh, oh oh oh
You know me, but soon you'll know me even better than that
uhoh oh oh oh








01 First Orgasm by the Dresden Dolls

What the fuck do you think this song is about?

Yes I do have a reason for this song other than it's the most uncomfortable song for some virgin ears.

Wait, no I don't. XD Actually it's because it's uncomfortable that I had this as the first song. You either like the Dresden Dolls or you don't, you either like this song or you don't, and you either like Karin or you don't. And please, she was HEAD OF A PRISON CELL. If fantasizing about Orochimaru's latest extremely pretty protege is all she has to pass the time dealing with idiots, I would have resorted to that too. Lol, j/k


02 Maneater by Nelly Furtado
And when she walks she walks with passion
If she wants you could you handle it?
I wanna see you all on your knees knees
Give all you got, see if you can please me



We first meet Karin picking this prisoner's ass apart. Talk about an introduction (including the ever-pervy manga-ka's gratituous butt shot).


03 London Bridges by Fergie
How come every time you come around
My London, London bridge wanna go down?



So she's confident, probably has a really nasty/dark side, in charge, and liking it. Even with The Sex The Pretty Sasuke offering her a job she's reluctant to leave. Hell, she's Queen Dominatrix, the leader of the pack, who wouldn't be?


04 Eat Your Heart Up by The Blow
I came up near to you
My arm around your waist
I was wanting to get to know you
Lean in and get a taste
I could hear your heart beating
And I found I wanted to eat your heart up
Chew it up and swallow
Get your blood to flow through my head
Oh no

Here it is: the infamous "Off My Balls Pleez" moment where readers either laughed hysterically, wanted to be her, or wanted to kill her. See, this is what happens when teenage boys like Sasuke go to terrorists/Orochimaru: they get even more socially and sexually retarded. Oh Sasuke, how I love your dorkiness and clueless moments so. ;D

Seriously, I couldn't break up this page, this whole thing screams a combo of rape, sexual retard, pimp, and gay evidence all in one hit. I love Kishi.

But please, Sasuke recruited her for a reason. He wouldn't want someone useless who would just make the team look like S&M poster rejects...


05 Rockstar by Prima J
You hate me 'cause I'm a pretty little problem, a problem
You hate me 'cause I'm everything you wanted to be

...well, not ONLY like S&M rejects. He also wants to kill Itachi. Why the hell would he waste his time? So don't call her an idiot and a whore, she knows more about the prison system, "projects" like Juugo, and Orochimaru's history than Sasuke and Suigetsu, she can track people by chakra. Additionally, where Sasuke is protecting found Team 7 to be lacking, he outright said Karin was the one member he actually needed.



06 Judy by The Pipettes

All that boys would stop and turn their heads
And all us girls would wish she were dead
Oh Judy, what am I going to do with you?


(*Sasuke thinks* WTF, I hate women...)

07 She's So Cold by the Rolling Stones
She's so cold, she's so cold, cold, she's so c-c-c-old
But she's beautiful, though




In the beginning of the manga, Ino was referred to by Naruto as a "Sasuke Idiot." The thing with Karin is that while she obviously wants to get into his pants likes Sasuke, she isn't an idiot. In fact, the best part is she isn't intimidated by Sasuke that much; I can't remember anyone besides Naruto who ever told him to shut up or anything like that. Sakura in the Forest of Death doesn't count, because she was pumped up by Naruto. (And no, don't think I'm shipping KarinxSasuke, because...seriously. No.)

She's violent and bitchy: she has no problem watching people die, probably brainwashed for years to do it (What fifteen year old leads a prison of S-Class crminals? The implications of all the creepy shit she could do to a person are endless.).

She IS cold. And...just isn't scared of much. Sasuke had to shove her out of the Juugo fight and even then she wasn't running THE FUCK AWAY like I would have. She watched the whole thing.

08 Hey Pretty by Poe
You know me now but soon you’ll know me
Even better than that


I swear I thought she was taking him to an empty cell and having her way with him while he was drugged. >< EW. Lol,  Sasuke, I could smack you for your ever present clueless, asexual-ness. xD

I can almost see Sasuke sweat dropping, all Oh my god, why me as I usually think he mantras these days with his insane new team and stalking old team. What does a guy have to do to kill his brother?

Oh wait, this is about Karin. WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO GET LAID AROUND HERE? (And poor Sakura, she's SURROUNDED by male eye candy.)

If you were near this fine specimen for 24 hours a day, would you be able to handle yourself? Yeah, me either...Karin's shown more restraint, because I'd have knocked him out for months tied up in my closet, figuring out how the hell he gets his hair all spiked while wandering around the wilderness (it's gel in that big robe, I swear, and he sneaks off to do it), and keep his pants up, among other things. But then, I don't know how Sakura controls herself around Naruto, who is 1) hot and 2) who she is around 24/7, but that's another male case study altogether.

'Course with the way Suigetsu talks, she already might have. xD (To which I say if she had...Karin you are the smartest go-getter girl ever and I love you. YOU USE THAT HIGH SAT SCORE KARIN. :D)

I WOULD SO TAP THIS. And it doesn't help the situation that Sasuke is all aristocratically polite by nature.  Excusing her from the homicidal mad man in the scary cell, that stuff is hot. (I am being sarcastic.)


*Karin thinking* CELL RAPE NOW PLZ. WITH CHAIN BONDAGE YES, KTHNKS.

09 ABC by The Pipettes
He's kind of tall and kind of shy
He's always got his head in a book
He's the kind who knows just what he knows
He knows all about ABC 123  XYZ
But he don't know about XTC,
It ain't in any of his categ'ries.


God she is so funny. I love it when Sasuke gets hit on and has The Reaction No Straight Sane Man Would Have, according to my guyfriends. Again Sasuke is all "Why Me? Why the hell did I have to be pretty *angst* Oh wait, to be better looking than Itachi. And Naruto.  The one Pretty to rule them all. Yes."  Karin, your approach doesn't work because you aren't wearing orange or say "--ttebayo." And...I have a running theory Sasuke doesn't even know what sex IS, and that all girls act like Sakura and Karin.


Again, I love that she calls him an idiot when he's being one, because Juugo and Suigetsu are too damn scared of him to do it. And they're guys: on Let's Make a Deal the best guyfriend is always saying KEEP GOING DUDE! while the best girl friend is always "Stop it you're being stupid." Again, she's not a one-dimensional whore who should rot in hell. If he was just eye candy she wouldn't really give a shit instead of telling him not to be an idiot. She does have priorities. Like, that Sasuke is way too gorgeous to die, and if he dies she can't rape him. SEE? Dilemma.

I want to see Sakura and Karin have a mud fight. And then have Jiraiya write a book about it.


10 The Devil is a Girl by Andi Almqvist and the Employees

That girl probably ran away from home
Ruby rose lips and a heart of stone
She could smash you into a million bones.



RUN SASUKE. D; Lol. Oh Karin. I love you. I almost wish you were a lesbian so I could crack-pair your obsessive nature with someone like Hinata or Sakura. (Oh God, Hinata would have no idea what to do xD)

I almost wished Naruto and Co hadn't caught up, because THAT SCENE would have been hilarious. Poor Sasuke, does the many different levels of rape and trauma from your brother, Orochimaru, and Karin ever end? I was so sad, seriously, that they met up with Kisame and Itachi, because the image of Sasuke passing out and Karin leaping on him would have been the most cracktastic thing ever. OMG, and then if Naruto chose that moment to catch up and was all GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND/UKE/SEME *insert vein popping and tails sprouting*. And Sai was all "FINALLY SOME PENIS <3 *picture snap snap*"

*flails* Yes yes...

Oh God, SaixKarin. NEW OTP. FROM HELL. i don't even know who would stalk who first, or who would be more hilarious to be on top, OMG.

11 Trouble by P!nk
If you see me coming
Down the street then
You know it's time to
Go (and you know it's time to go
cause here comes trouble)


Juugo: .....
Juugo: Why do you have that?
Karin: Um...SHUT UP!
Sasuke: ?

HAHAHAHAHA. *head desk*


12 Bumpy Ride by Robyn
Keep your focus and you’ll make it through
Don’t you slip and don’t you slide
Never hesitate


This is where things start to get icky. And dude, Karin has BALLS. If Sasuke turned around and stared at ME like that with the Sharingan I'd crap my pants.

KISAME. Oh God, I'd so jump him. *cough cough* Anyway...



13 F*ck the Pain Away by Peaches


I really hope Sasuke lives and stays with Team Hebi. Because the ever present threat of getting raped and/or traumatized some more is so much fun. <3 And then while he's knocked out Karin can sell tickets to Sakura, Naruto, Ino, Sai...basically everyone who wants Sasuke and get herself some contacts (though I find the glasses hot on her, like a librarian fantasy or something). I like her, she's smart, powerful, in fact she and Temari would get along great IMO.

The thing to remember about Kishimoto is that NO character is 100% good or evil. Look at Orochimaru: he was a combination of being so terrified of death because of his familiy, he and his team didn't care for one another when they had the chance, and he was a genius: as a consequence he was fascinated by the the world, sort of a Lord Asriel from His Dark Materials in the sense nothing is impossible to bend to his will. Because of that, he was indifferent to the consequences. Karin likewise is a horny teenager, raised in torture, probably carrying suppressed loneliness, and is fascinated by power; I bet she was a war orphan picked up by Orochimaru who, realizing she was a girl, sent her off. I'M KIDDING. Howeverl, since Kishi is on weed/ADD, she probably won't get developed more, depending on how far he's going to milk the series. But i hope he does. I really do. I JUST LOVE TEAM HEBI.

Or better yet, have Karin take one look at Naruto and Sasuke together and go OHHHHHH.


MESSAGE TO ANTI-KARINS


Lol, I couldn't help myself. :D I just don't like character bashings...
Plus Sasuke wants an excuse to wear short shorts, and I love SuigetuxKarin

The whole mp3 zip: hxxpp://www.sendspace.com/file/jyecgj
ENJOY, BUT PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU TAKE.

If you want to know more about Karin, as usual I pimp:
[profile] heronite 's (fantabulous with so little information out there) Karin essay: http://heronite.livejournal.com/17830.html
AND YES I KNOW ABOUT SHIZUNE AND TSUNADE AND ALL THE OTHER FEMALES KISHI FORGETS ABOUT. D: Poor things...AND THEN THERE'S SAI. KISHI COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DRAW HIM FOR THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. Or maybe he was off doing something secret. I hope so, BECAUSE IF HE JUST FORGOT TO DRAW HIM I'LL CRY. I was trying to be flippy and witty but alas...xD

[identity profile] aradiantsun.livejournal.com 2007-12-03 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
yes, it's proving to be an interesting project, that's for sure.

Certainly~~ I get asked this a lot. *laughs*
Frame 1: *Distant girlish screams*
Frame 2: Sakura - "Harken!"
Frame 3: Sakura - "The cries of a sweet damsel!"
Frame 4: Sakura - "And one in distress I'll bet!"
Frame 5: Meanwhile... somewhere deep within the forest...
Frame 6: Sasuke - "Oh, somebody help meee~~"
Frame 7: Sasuke - "Onegai... save me~"
Frame 8: Sakura - "Fear not, fair one"
Frame 9: Sakura - "For I, Sakura-sama am here~!"
Frame 10: Sasuke - "Oh, Sakura-sama! Take me now."
Frame 11: Sakura - "SCORE!"
Frame 12: Sakura - "Away, my fair maid!"
Frame 13: Sasuke - "Oh, Sakura-sama"
Frame 14: Sasuke - "You're so big and strong!"
Frame 15: Sasuke - "P-please, Sakura-sama... be gentle... with me...
Frame 16: . . .
Frame 17: . . . THE END

[identity profile] llivla.livejournal.com 2007-12-03 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHA *head desk*

Oh god, that is so...cracky...